Quick! While the other one isn’t looking! Let me talk to you about Gerard Butler.
Now, I’m a late bloomer when it comes to Butler’s career; I was still rolling my eyes at romcoms when he was the eternal leading man in those ten years back. But then: enter Den of Thieves. A completely nuts and brilliant performance from Butler in that sent me down a rabbithole of his leading man roles in absurdist disaster dramas, from Geostorm to Hunter Killer; nobody balances po-faced camp charisma quite like Butler does. He’s cornered the market, as far as I’m concerned, on Non-Franchised Blockbuster Nonsense, my personal genre of choice, and I am always willing to throw my support behind my fellow Scotsman’s latest versus-the-world silliness.
Which so happens to come, in 2020, in the form of Greenland. The first trailer for what is sure to be the critical flop of the year dropped yesterday, and, frankly, it’s Friday, and I want to indulge myself in a little silliness right now. So, let’s pour ourselves a coffee and enjoy some Gerard Butler daftinitude to start our weekends off right, huh?
0:01: First things first, I noticed in the description for this trailer that Morena Baccarin plays Butler’s “estranged wife”, which is a weird and re-ocurring theme in so many of the movies of his that I’ve seen. Big ex-husband energy, our Gerard. Anyway.
0:22: Honestly, I think the biggest reason that Gerard Butler just Appeals to me is that, even when he’s not playing anything even adjacent to a Scottish person, he exudes the aura of the father of one of my friends growing up who I would have had a fierce crush on during puberty.
0:35: Given the state of things in the world right now, I don’t think that we truly need another disaster movie, but there is something specifically and particularly unsettling about an apocalyptic drama like this one when they’re done right.
0:59: As in, that universal terror of not being able to stop something so inherently powerful, something that you can’t reason with – that’s scary stuff. Thank God I have Gerard Butler here to see me through it.
1:12: LOVE me some underdeveloped kid logic to underline the severity of the situation. “The sky’s on fire!”. Child, we just saw you watching the news, stop trying to be metaphorical when you KNOW what’s happening.
1:26: I know that Andrew Bachelor has done a hell of a lot since his Vine stardom a few years ago, but it is so delightfully on-point for a movie like this to have someone like King Bach in a leading role. Hope all his screen appearances are under seven seconds, to pay the dues to his beginnings.
1:43: You know, the idea that, in the case of an event like this one, people would be scrambling over each other to get to safety maybe doesn’t have the same weight that it did pre-2020, you know? With the year that we’ve had, most people I know would probably be glad that they would never have to make a video call with their boss again, and stay at home to watch some Simpsons while they wait.
1:55: Love that the editors used a line-reading of Gerard slipping back into his Scottish accent for this trailer. Promise the quality you’re going to deliver on, babes.
2:07: Look, I will say that I like the look of these set-pieces. They seem ambitious and the effects come across as pretty solid. It’s been a while since we’ve had a full-fledged big-budget apocalypse drama, and, done right, they’re pretty universally appealing and usually hold water long after they’ve come out, since we’re all always scared of, you know, this,
2:22: Overall, I give this film a “Gerard Butler is fighting the entire Earth on the big screen, which means that I am professionally obliged to see this movie, but also, it happens to look pretty good as a pleasant bonus” out of ten. There’s still time to save 2020 yet, Gerard!
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By Louise MacGregor
(header image via Screen Rant)