What’s this? Two trailer reviews, in a row? Well, forgive us for being excited about blockbuster season 2019, especially when it looks as batshit wild as these trailers have made it out to be. Today, we’re taking a poke at the new Godzilla: King of the Monsters trailer, and trying to work out whether it can even come CLOSE to the esteemed Toho Studios releases of yesteryear. Let’s get to it!
0:02: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: it’s a testament to the rapidly-changing pace of our pop cultural landscape that a literal child could not just be the main draw for this cast, but have consistently earned that title with a selection of killers performances over the last few years to prove it. On yersel, Millie Bobbie Brown, on yersel.
0:17: I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I can tell any Kaiju from another just from their shadows, but I will get hyped about the fact that this is a) a flying monster and b) thus FOR SURE Mothra, my favourite of all the Godzilla villains.
0:34: So far, this is being shot like Dunkirk but with giant monsters from classic Japanese cinema and I am, for one, here for it.
0:47: The design of the Kaiju is just some built-in awesomeness, so making them look cool isn’t hard – but damn, this trailer is making them genuinely imposing, ripping open the world and crawling out like something straight from the Cthulu mythos.
1:06: That all said, Fat Godzilla is still a goofy-looking fella.
1:14: King of the Monsters? More like King of the Mornings, thanks to Dunkin Donuts (trademarked)! Get that franchise money, you crafty bitches, I’m not mad.
1:21: King Ghidorah has always has this brilliant, ancient-myth feel to him (him? I’m going with him) and this shot of him rising out of flames is just…ugh. Yes. My history-degree-having ass is here for it.
1:30: Every idea Ken Watanabe has ever had sounds like a good one. I’m on his side. No notes.
1:43: I’m so keen to see what Millie Bobby Brown can do outside of the world of Stranger Things, but also a lot of this trailer looks like the second season of that show, so…
1:51: Oof, this little shot of Godzilla and Ghidorah facing off is the fucking business. I know trailers always show the best parts of the movies and leave nothing as a surprise for your eventual cinematic viewing, but hell, if you had this in the vaults, why wouldn’t you want to show it off?
1:56: O’Shea Jackson Junior! He’s one of those actors I’ve become weirdly attached to (see also: Justice Smith), and yes, it has everything to do with the awful/brilliant Den of Thieves.
2:08: Again: this looks like a war movie, with all the po-faced seriousness therein, but also with giant Kaiju fighting each other across a sky that’s actually on fire. What the fuck is not to like here?
2:20: Alright, that’s us. Overall, I think this trailer looks pretty wild – I like the look of the monsters, and if they can deliver on the showdown between the various Kaiju, they will have already secured a solid audience response. While it will never match the Toho Studios horrorshows of my youth, I suppose I’m willing to give it a shot.
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(header image via Empire)
No But Listen 
Reblogged this on The Cutprice Guignol and commented:
Toho Studios it AIN’T
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