Fine! Let’s Talk About the Snyder Cut

The very idea of the Snyder Cut annoys me; I might as well get that part out of the way.

Justice League is one of the worst movies ever made, so I can understand the excitement for the Hollywood myth that says Snyder’s original cut will fix everything. I’ve had a look at some of the possible changes: Cyborg having a much bigger presence, Batman’s redemption from BVS being less stupid, the inclusion of Darkseid, all of which, in theory, I’m in favor of. Also, Henry Cavill’s mustache problems would be a thing of the past. What’s not to like? Well, everything else.

A director’s cut is by no means new. Blade Runner’s had a million, and nearly every Alien film has at least one. But the director’s cut, in the context of the DCEU has taken on nearly religious proportions. Simply put, the mere existence of a director’s cut in this cinematic universe only pops up if the theatrical version of the movie in question is a pile of shit. There is no directors cut of the good movies: the Jenkins Cut of Wonder Woman, the Wan Cut of Aqauaman, the Sandberg cut of Shazam, or the Yan cut of Birds of Prey. These films didn’t need an excuse, but the Snyder ones just so happen to.

Instead we have the existence, or rumored existence, of the Snyder Cut of Justice League, and the Ayer cut of Suicide Squad; Dawn of Justice actually has a director’s cut, which doesn’t fix the movie one bit. Yet the fans, backed by cast member like Gal Gadot, Henry Cavill, and Ray Fisher, along with Snyder himself, have forced this cut of the movie into existence. The superhero fandom is a powerful entity – without it, Deadpool wouldn’t exist – so it’s no surprise that the Snyder Cut has been willed into existence.

Before Justice League, Snyder was responsible for an insane Superman movie that forgot about everything that Superman stands for, then followed it up with an iconically disastrous Batman vs Superman,  the superhero version of Heavens Gate. What makes you think that Snyder is going to come up with a better movie on his third try in this franchise? Why is it that when Snyder releases a bad movie fans immediately think he deserves a do-over? Will it be better than the Justice League movie that we’ve got? Probably. But all that means is that we have to settle for more mediocrity from this director, another four hours of goggles and shell casings hitting the floor, and always more and more grey. It might ratchet up the quality, but given that we’re starting at a straight zero as it is, what it raises it to is hardly worth mentioning.

I’m going to stake my reputation on the claim that, much like Dawn of Justice, the Snyder Cut will not fix Justice League. It certainly looks like we are in for a much-changed movie, with the possibility of the whole four hours of shot footage edited into a miniseries, but the fact is it is still a Zack Snyder movie. And Snyder has done little to prove that, even with his full involvement, he can make a great DC film.

Help me out, internet fandom. If you can get crap like this released with your passion and stubbornness, can you get me the Dredd sequel I’ve always wanted? Or could you bring back Hannibal for a fourth season? Use your powers for good, just this once.

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By Kevin Boyle

Header Image: Wikipedia