Yup, it’s that time again – time for us to get out teeth into the Oscar nominations and bitch and moan about the fact that somehow horror as a genre got snubbed all over again. Wait, what, hold on, it didn’t? To the noms!
“Blade Runner 2049” Roger Deakins
“Darkest Hour” Bruno Delbonnel
“Dunkirk” Hoyte van Hoytema
“Mudbound” Rachel Morrison
“The Shape of Water” Dan Laustsen
As you’ve already heard by now, Rachel Morrison made history here as the first woman nominated for a Cinematography Oscar. Which is amazing and all that, but it’s a shame for her because Roger Deakins has to win this year.
“Call Me by Your Name”
“The Disaster Artist”
I am actually disgusted by the fact that Molly’s Game is here. That script was one of the most pointedly awful things I’ve seen make it to screen in a while. When will we, as a society, accept that we were all wrong about Aaron Sorkin and move on, instead of humiliating ourselves with this grotesque spectacle?
Mary J. Blige “Mudbound”
Lesley Manville “Phantom Thread”
Octavia Spencer “The Shape of Water”
Allison Janney “I, Tonya”
Laurie Metcalf “Lady Bird”
I am living in a 2018 where Mary J Blige has an Oscar nomination and I am 1000% alright with that. Again, unlucky for her that she’s been nominated in the year that Octavia Spencer Must Win.
Willem Dafoe “The Florida Project”
Woody Harrelson “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
Richard Jenkins “The Shape of Water”
Christopher Plummer “All the Money in the World”
Sam Rockwell “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
I am so excited to see Christopher Plummer get a nod here, because it feels like a delighted two fingers up to Kevin Spacey who he replaced in Ridley Scott’s most recent flick as well as an acknowledgement of his long-lasting, impactful, and consistently brilliant career. I dither between Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell here, but I just have to land on the side of the latter.
(also, and this is bitchy, I’m kind of glad that Armie Hammer didn’t get nominated for Call Me By Your Name because he’s really just alright)
Sally Hawkins “The Shape of Water”
Frances McDormand “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
Margot Robbie “I, Tonya”
Saoirse Ronan “Lady Bird”
Meryl Streep “The Post”
Ah, I see Meryl Streep is getting her royally-appointed nomination this year. If Frances McDormand doesn’t win this category, we might as well just cancel cinema.
Timothée Chalamet “Call Me by Your Name”
Daniel Day-Lewis “Phantom Thread”
Daniel Kaluuya “Get Out”
Gary Oldman “Darkest Hour”
Denzel Washington “Roman J. Israel Esq.”
I think Gary Oldman might just have this one in the bag, as the Academy realizes he hasn’t got an Oscar yet and scrambles around to find something to give him one for, but I’m really pleased to see Daniel Kaluuya get a nod for his sublime performance in Jordan Peele’s Get Out. Timothée Chalamet has Oscars in his future, but I’d be surprised to see him bag it first time around.
Guillermo del Toro, “The Shape of Water
Christopher Nolan, “Dunkirk”
Paul Thomas Anderson, “Phantom Thread”
Greta Gerwig, “Lady Bird”
Jordan Peele, “Get Out”
Ah, this is a tough one: there’s not one film nominated here that doesn’t deserve it, and they’re all such strikingly different artistic visions that it’s hard to pick between them. I thought Dunkirk was a stunning achievement for Christopher Nolan, but I have my fingers firmly crossed for Jordan Peele, mostly because it would mean a horror film was scooping one of the top awards in the industry. I would love it if Get Out could launch Jordan Peele, Daniel Kaluuya, Caleb Landry Jones and the horror genre in general into the critically lauded mainstream.
“Call Me by Your Name”
“The Shape of Water”
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
Look, I love most of the films on this list, but Three Billboards was the last film to make me cry laughing and then just make me cry. It’s a fucking masterpiece and I would love to see it get the big one this year. Or Get Out, for the reasons outlined above. Or Dunkirk, for being the most interesting war movie in years. Or…fuck it, as long as it’s not the snoozingly obvious choice of The Post, I’m down.
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The Oscars 2017, or, That Armie Hammer Snub