The Marketing Department: Suspiria Trailer

Reboots, remakes, sequels, prequels – we can’t get enough of retreading our pop culture past these days. I never thought that would extend to a remake of Dario Argento’s iconic Giallo classic Suspiria, but here we are – like it or not, Luca Guadagnino, of Call Me By Your Name fame, is taking a crack at the legendary flick. And, with a new trailer out to play, let’s take a look at what’s in store!

0:15: Chloe Grace Moretz, rolling about on a floor, talking in thinly-veiled sapphic terms about how a woman wants to get inside her? This is a prime example of “seems gay, I’m in”. But I’m also interested to see what Moretz can do with this role, as she’s had a tricky transition into adult roles and this is a really juicy one.

0:38: Okay, Dakota Johnson – now here’s my biggest issue with this movie so far. I’ve watched (ugh) all the Fifty Shades movies, as part of my unending crusade to ruin my life with that fucking series, and I truly think both her and Jamie Dornan put in some of the most abominably terrible performances I’ve ever seen in my life over the course of those movies. Could it be that Johnson was just checked out a role that guaranteed fame and fans no matter how she played it? Maybe, but it doesn’t fill me with confidence for her place in Suspiria. I would love to be proved wrong, of course, but the trailers are light on any really meaty bits of acting from her so far, so I’m not convinced yet.

0:47: If there’s one person I’m ten thousand percent supportive of in this movie, it’s Tilda Swinton, the T-Swizzle of my dreams. She’s got the perfect dreamy-yet-threatening presence for Guadagnino’s interpretation of the film, at least as the trailers have indicated thus far.

0:55: I really love the lighting and composition in this trailer so far – it evokes the kind of timeless but oddly specific setting of something like Brazil, with the washed-out blue and the pointed, stilted blocking of characters within scenes.

1:02: God, Dakota Johnson’s really got the whole “gasping erotically in trailers” market cornered, huh?

1:14: This shot, right here, is enough to convince me to go see this movie. I’m a huge fan of the Argento original, predictably, but I loved the languid European saturation Guadagnino brought to Call Me By Your Name and I’m already really excited to see how he applies that to a horror.

1:25: Also, this movie couldn’t be better timed in terms of being entirely based around women and their tense, vital relationships. The world is ready for the gory, women-centric Giallo nightmare of my dreams.

1:40: I can already tell I’m going to spend this entire movie getting people mixed up with Dakota Johnson. I legitimately can barely tell people’s faces apart at the best of times, and a bunch of wan, thin, brunette women populating one film has doomed me to leaning over to my partner every five minutes going “which one is that?”.

1:42: The costuming is just *kisses fingers*. Everything about this trailer is just so goddamn handsome.

2:00: Montage! It’s all lots of symbolic and richly-textured shots of Spooky Things happening, which I’m totally fine with. The original Suspiria is a kind of gorgeous, compelling mess, with is a hard thing to recreate with any kind of authenticity, but this look appropriately unsettling and random for my tastes.

2:11: There was a lot of really interesting blocking sequences in Call Me By Your Name, and I think taking on something like Suspiria, which is all about dance, is a good way for Guadagnino to work out all his very specific visions for movement within a frame in a way that fits well with the story. Also, I like it when the pretty people do the things in time with the music!

2:18: Of COURSE Thom Yorke is writing the score for this. I don’t know what I expected. I have never and will never be a Radiohead fan, but all the prestige films I love seem to be trying to convince me otherwise.

Overall, I give it a “midnight showing so I can spook the hell out of myself on the walk home” on a scale of prebook to boycott. What do you think of the new Suspiria trailer? How do you think it will compare to the original? Let us know in the comments below!

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(header image courtesy of Polygon)

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