Well, as we draw in on the festive season, let’s crack out the biscuits, cuddle up with our horrible cats, and watch some real festive classics.
And by that, of course, I mean Gremlins. When it comes to Christmas movies, there are few that come close to Joe Dante’s iconic 1984 family horror classic. It’s hard to think of any other movie that so perfectly balances gleeful chaos with Christmas cheer, horror with hilarity. The best movies of this season, to my mind, come when you cut through all that soft-focus warmheartedness with something effectively nasty, and Gremlins might be the best example of that ever put to film.
Because, and let’s get this straight, Gremlins is a horror movie. It’s not just the Gremlins themselves, either, though they’re certainly a big part of that – the puppetry and real effects here work so damn well, and give them a real, unsettling sense of presence on-screen. Their antics (murdering an elderly woman by hurling her out of the window springs to mind – not least what happens with that kitchen blender) are bad enough, but then you’ve got the incredible scene where our leading woman Phoebe Cates reveals her father’s gruesome death at the hands of Christmas tradition after he suffocated in the chimney dressed as Santa. It’s mordantly hilarious, occasionally splattering great big gobs of gore all over the screen when you start getting a bit too comfortable.
But beyond that, this is quintessentially a Christmas movie – a small-town, glitter-frosted-snow story about family togetherness and forming new bonds. The adorable Gizmo (who I imprinted on as a kid and simply never let go of) and his relationship with Zach Galligan’s leading man are unreasonably sweet, and there’s real chemistry between the cast that grounds it in something more human. Yes, it’s a ridiculous creature feature – but it’s also got a heartfelt little throughline, which is what makes it, for me, such an enduring classic.
And then there’s the rest of it – you know, the incredible soundtrack, the action scenes, that bit where one of the Gremlins has popcorn bags over their ears that makes me wheeze with laughter to this day. It’s a cavalcade of brilliance, technically and in terms of storytelling, and has rightfully earned it’s place amongst the Christmas horror classics.
What is your go-to Christmas movie? And why isn’t it Gremlins? Let me know in the comments below!
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By Lou MacGregor
(header image via Slash Film)
No But Listen 