The Eternals Are Here And They’re Hot Monoliths Apparently

Today we had our first look at the new Marvel team, Eternals (I’m leaving the ‘the’ out for now so as
not to confuse you with the garbage fire that was The Eternals TV show), that is here to save us from
new villains now that the Avengers roster has ben left a bit on the thin side.

Except, wait a damn minute!


They’ve been here the entire fucking time: approximately 7000 years staying in the shadows and
letting Loki nearly tear New York down, Ultron nearly destroy the planet, Thanos actually win
and wiping out exactly half of the universe, which I assume would affect at least one or two of this
new/old group. Not to mention all of the wars and conquerors and genocides that have happened
in the few millenia that they’ve been squatting here. What they have been doing is secretly helping
humanity prosper and movie forward as a species – think of them as the superheroic, hot version of
the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey.


Alright, enough with nit-picking a movie that isn’t even out yet, this is a cool trailer. Does anything of
real note happen? Not really – we get to see the Eternals display some of their powers, a delightful Gemma Chan
takes centre stage as the most likely lead of the movie, some are charming, some are brooding, and
some are Angelina Jolie just posing the shit out the scenes she’s featured in. Being able to look impressive isn’t exactly hard for her, considering she has a few action women on her CV, but there’s no denying that she looks really cool.


It’s a standard trailer – we even see Kit Harrington’s mug (remmeber Game of Thrones? Me neither) as he plays a guy with a magic sword (C’mon, Marvel, you could have given him something that he hasn’t done a million times in the last decade), but the most impressive thing about Eternals is its director, Chloe Zhao. The Oscar-winning Nomadland director has, like Ryan Coogler and Takia Watti before her, clearly brought her own sensibilities to this project, which is the long way of saying that Eternals looks fucking lush. Are the Eternals fit to replace the Avengers? Maybe, maybe not, but they’ll get their shot and I’m looking forward to it. Although they really should have got their asses to Wakanda on Thanos day.

If you enjoyed this article and want to see more stuff like it, please check out the rest of our MCU retrospective, and consider supporting us on Ko-Fi!

By Kevin Boyle

(header image via Wikipedia)

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