If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is, without a doubt, one of the most unpleasant viewing experiences I’ve ever had.
But the good news is, that’s exactly what writer-director Mary Bronstein was going for in her sophomore feature, a follow-up to her 2008 debut Yeast. And, after nearly two decades, she’s made her return to the big screen with style in this utterly excruciating exploration of modern motherhood.
If I Had Legs follows Linda (Rose Byrne), a therapist and mother who is dealing with her daughter’s feeding disorder; while her husband is out of town, the roof of their apartment caves in, leaving her to move her and her daughter into a motel. In the following weeks, Linda becomes increasingly detached from reality and herself as she attempts to navigate the ever-growing stress.
Stories about motherhood almost inherently become stories about children, too. Which is not a bad thing at its core – some of the best movies of the last couple of decades, from Bring Her Back to The Babadook, explore relationships between female caregivers and the children in their lives to great effect. But Bronstein seems distinctly aware of the way that women are so often usurped from a distinct identity, both in real life and in cinema, by their roles as mothers, and goes to great lengths to ensure that this story stays focused on Linda. Children take centre stage both literally and metaphorically as soon as we lay eyes on them, so Linda’s daughter doesn’t appear on-screen until the film’s final frames; so often in films like this, about the stress of parenthood and family life as a whole, the child serves as an exhale of relief, a way for the story to justify and make sense of the stress that’s piled on the leading characters. Here, we don’t get that break; the focus remains entirely on Linda, whether we life it or not.
And God, do you feel every second of that. If I Had Legs is an all-out cinematic panic attack for the better part of two hours, during which Bronstein makes use of an arsenal of cinematic weapons to deliver a truly excruciating experience. The off-kilter close-ups, the soundtrack that constantly pulses away in the background, the surreal sequences deliberately crafted to throw you off-balance and leave you understanding even less than you did before; in terms of capturing what the lead character is going through and really putting you as a viewer in their shoes, it’s one of the most singularly effective movies I’ve ever seen. The film is classed as a drama-comedy, but, while there are moments of absurd wit and humour, it plays more like a thriller and sometimes even horror than anything else. Like the gaping holes that serve as a visual motif across the film, from the one in the apartment ceiling to the one made for her daughter’s feeding tube, there’s this constant sense of growing, ever-dilating terror that swells to consume the film’s whole world.
And I couldn’t talk about this movie without speaking a little about Byrne, too – the film hinges on her skills here, her ability to entirely give herself over to the razor-wire edge that this story exists upon, and the way she pulls it off is downright extraordinary. There’s no flinching from the parts of Linda that are harder to justify or warm to, no attempt to soften her edges as she spirals out of control and into substance abuse and abject recklessness. There is no point in this movie that Byrne loses her grip on what has driven Linda to this point, keeping her grounded even when the film is at its most surreal.
Supported by a superb performance from Byrne, Bronstein’s unique approach to the maternal drama is one that’s as unrelenting as it is unflinching. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a tough watch, even downright unpleasant at times – but that’s what makes it so effective.
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By Lou MacGregor
(header image via The New Yorker)
No But Listen 