So, a couple of months ago, I took a loving look at Muppet Treasure Island, undeniably the greatest film ever made with some astonishingly iconic bangers in it’s soundtrack. But, as we draw up on the festive season, another Muppet movie springs to mind – another one with some great songs, a wonderful adaptation of a classic book, and also Gonzo in the most period-accurate costuming you’ve ever seen on a puppet. That’s right: it’s time to talk about Muppet Christmas Carol.
Or, rather, the songs therein! It’s another Muppet musical classic, with so many incredible numbers to fill out this adaptation of Dickens’ most well-known novel, and I would like to invite you to sit back, relax, pour yourself a glass of mulled wine or non-alcoholic festive equivalent, and indulge in a needless judgement of Muppet musical montages. Much like Treasure Island, it’s worth noting here that their are no skips on this soundtrack (hence the title) – just some I like more than others. To the list!
7. When Love is Found
Now, this is so low on the list not because I don’t like the finale song, because I do, but because I think it makes such a perfect match-up with When Love is Gone, the gorgeous duet between Scrooge and his lost love earlier in the movie which was cut out in most releases post-2000. They’re two halves of a whole to the point where I can’t figure out why the more melancholic version was cut, even if this is a perfectly pleasant and sweet denouement to the movie.
6. Thankful Heart
Michael Caine is many things in this movie, most of them brilliant, but a good singer, he is not. This is mostly remedied by having other people lead the songs for the rest of Christmas Carol, but for this closer, he’s got to whack out the big notes, and it’s…not brilliant. I still love this song, and I find Caine’s obvious lack of singing talent kind of charming if only for his obvious enthusiasm, but it does nudge the song to the lower end of this list for me.
5. It Feels Like Christmas
After the sheer screaming terror of the Ghost of Christmas Still to Come, this song is a balm, let me tell you – and also a really fun number that incorporates the beautiful set design and enormously fun period stylings of the featured Muppets. I absolutely adore Jerry Nelson’s voice as the Ghost of Christmas Past here, and this also reminds me of my own family Christmases, as this elaborate, shape-shifting song and dance number represents exactly the same lengths my mum has to go through to convince my grandad to put on the hat in his cracker.
4. One More Sleep ‘Til Christmas
Loath as I am to say it, I’m not a huge fan of schmaltzy, Christmassy music that’s meant to fill your heart with a festive warmth and all of that – unless it’s sung by Kermit the Frog. It’s ridiculous to admit that I have somehow been so charmed by this small frog made of felt over the course of my life that this is one of my favourite songs in the whole movie just by virtue of him singing it, but it’s true; it’s like running in to your favourite cousin unexpectedly at a family Christmas do, warm and welcoming and slightly heart-warming in a way that fits the season perfectly. Plus, he’s got a little hat on! A little hat!
3. Marley and Marley
Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion to have this song so high on the list, but it’s there for a reason – partly because my best friend and I in high school were nicknamed Statler and Waldorf for all the most unflattering reasons you can think of, but mostly because the staging is so good. I love the way Statler and Waldorf are tangled up in chains here, the washed-out negative tones, the ghostly ghastliness of it all – this really freaked me out as a kid, but these days, I am truly able to appreciate what a banger this is. This song stills gets stuck in my head all the time, and I put a lot of that down to the uncharacteristically outgoing performances from our favourite gay Muppet couple.
2. Bless Us All
Every time this song comes on, I tell myself I’m not going to fall for it this time – I’m not going to be turned into a giant, mushy mess by these Muppets singing together while Michael Caine goes through six months’ worth of therapy in three minutes. But I always do. Only the Muppets can pull of this level of sweetness without tipping over in the saccharine for me, and Michael Caine’s performance really sells it. Ugh, okay, I’m going to go off and have a little cry now.
1. Scrooge
Okay, I’ll admit it: I’m not the biggest fan of Michael Caine in the world, but this performance as Scrooge is pretty much the best I’ve ever seen. He’s so imposing, cold, calculating, and genuinely intimidating, not just the feeble older man some versions have him as – and a big part of that characterization comes, as it always should, in the form of a bunch of puppets relentlessly bullying a man walking down the street. From the swish of his cloak in the entrance to the vegetable carts’ denouncement of his very existence, this is such a brilliant character introduction, and sets the tone of the movie so perfectly, it’s got to be my number one.
Are you getting in the Christmas spirit? What are your go-to Christmas movies (apart from this one)? Let me know in the comments!
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By Lou MacGregor
(header image via Guardian)
No But Listen 