I’m going to be real with you here: nobody at Chez No But Listen happens to be a die-hard classic Disney fan. Star Wars? We got you covered. The movies of Rob Zombies? We’re all in. Batman? Too much, some might say. But honestly, the first teaser for Disney’s live-action Aladdin remake had the internet scratching its head for days, and we can’t miss out on a potential carcrash of the childhood-ruining variety. So here we are,
blue fresh-faced and ready to take on the first full-length Aladdin trailer! Let’s get to it.
0:10: The less said about the Will Smith intro, the better, I feel.
0:21: Alright, I get it, every single action scene ever made has to be shot like John Wick, but this is a live-action Disney remake, can we just leave off for one singular moment?
0:31: I don’t know how many times I’ve said this, but I have literally never seen anyone so attractive they made me forget everything I was doing and stop dead in my tracks. Apart from my cat. Who is pretty great.
0:46: Honestly, some of this CGI is so intense that it still looks like the animated version of this story. Which is an inevitable problem, sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stick my grubby little fingers into it and shoogle around a bit.
0:55: It’s been so long since I’ve seen this movie that I had honestly forgotten there was a plot that didn’t directly involve the genie from the start. Robin Williams performance dominates that movie so utterly it’s hard to remember there’s anything else to it.
1:21: It’s hard to judge Will Smith’s performance off this small clip, not just because it’s a mere few seconds long, but because You Ain’t Never Had a Friend Like Me is such a stone-cold banger.
1:28: It’s almost noteworthy how unnoteworthy Aladdin is as a leading man. People are coming here for Will Smith, right? And to find out what it’s like to want to bang Jafar.
1:45: Alright, let’s get one thing straight: I think Will Smith is an inspired replacement for Robin Williams in this role. He’s still hugely iconic and has to be one of the most charismatic leading men we’ve seen this century; there’s just something inherently watchable in him, even in the terrible vehicles he made at the back half of the last decade. His energy is perfect. The make-up? Eh, work in progress.
2:02: We weren’t escaping this trailer unscathed by Whole New World, I see. I like her voice, I moderately hate his. This song is fine, and I guarantee that you’re heard someone badly cover this live at some point in your life and thus had it ruined forever.
2:20: More montages! More CGI! More…fucking parkour, apparently!
2:45: And with that, we’re out! How does this trailer compare to the original movie for you? Have you seen any other Disney live-action movies, and are you looking forward to this one? Is Will Smith’s genie an abomination or an inspired choice? Let us know in the comments below?
(header image via Collider)