Well, the trailers are just coming thick and fast this week, huh? Today saw the first trailer for the third John Wick movie drop, and that means it’s time to take a poke at the Unkillable Career of Keanu Reeves and Also His Cute Dog(s).
0:05: I feel like it’s worth admitting that I got on the Keanu Reeves hype train later than most, and that has everything to do with The Matrix. I hated him so fucking much in that garbage can of a film that it took me until last year to actually accept that maybe I could enjoy him in other things. As a recent reformee, I’m going to try to keep this neutral and think about how great it was in Speed when he goes under the speeding bus on the little trolley with his funny tools to defuse a bomb. Man, that’s great cinema.
0:22: I feel like men running around in full suits is the male equivalent of women having to do action scenes in heels and corsets. Equally unwearable, equally impractical, equally and obviously stupid. Cute dog, though.
0:32: What’s this? A man clutching a cross and gazing up hopelessly for redemption in hyper-saturated lighting? I thought that Daredevil got cancelled already.
0:36: That’s Anjelica Huston and you can all GET FUCKED because I’ll be in the front row of the cinema with my eyeballs pressed to the screen screaming her name. Sorry, I’m actually going to take it seriously now.
0:40: So, the premise of this movie sees John Wick fighting his way out of New York after becoming the target for dozens of international assasination cartels, and honestly I’m so here for it. John Wick is a series of just spectacular setpieces, and blend that with some John Carpenter-esque Escape From New York vibes and it’s all good news.
0:47: Lance Reddick and Ian McShane are the double act I always knew I needed. Who can look the most disgruntled while holding on to the most gravitas and genuine actorly presence? Trick question, it’s both of them.
1:07: I love the commitment to the colour palette here – those long shoots of streets starkly lit up in reds and greens is a quick fix for a visual motif in a movie that’s going to be focused on turning the stunning action up to eleven.
1:27: I mean, this is just ridiculous, but in the best possible way. It reminds me of B: The Beginning, an anime I watched recently, where everything was deadly po-faced until the action scenes came along, and it was deadly po-faced with madcap Steven Chow-style hyper-violent comedy smeared on top.
1:30: Laurence Fishburne is an endless selling point after Hannibal. Not even DC could dull his shine.
1:44: There’s a reason that John Wick changed the game for the way that action was directed on both the big and small screen, and this montage is just here to remind you of that.
1:52: Halle Berry, cool. And also, oh God, Keanu Reeves still can’t deliver a line I believe to save his life. Get on the trolley, get under the bus, it’s what you were made for!
What did you think of this trailer? Will you be seeing John Wick 3 on the big screen, or are you down to the end of your wick (sorry) with the whole affair? Let us know in the comments below!
(header image via Den Of Geek)
No But Listen 
Reblogged this on The Cutprice Guignol and commented:
This time, on a horse!
LikeLike